Badgers Alexandra Azzopardi shares her story in her own words

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St. Catharines, Ont. - The concept of identity has been something I have struggled with from a young age. My parents came to Canada to better my life and provide me with more opportunities to succeed. Naturally, I wanted to make them proud and live up to the expectations I thought they had for me. To grow up, find a passion, get a degree and raise a family with a husband.

I tried to fit myself into the category of what I was conditioned to believe was a "normal" girl. Dress feminine, attend dance classes, play an instrument, and get good grades. Playing sports, let alone contact sports, was incredibly frowned upon. A young woman with muscles, bumps, and bruises would never attract a man's attention.

Well, I played the part very well. But I felt a constant pressure to build a life that I knew I didn't want. Not to mention, the fear I felt thinking I would be stuck living a lie.

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A huge hole was filled when I began playing rugby in high school. My parents were not necessarily fond of the idea, but they eventually became some of my biggest supporters. I finally found a way to express myself. I became obsessed with sport and its ability to bring about a sense of community. I decided that studying Sport Management at Brock University was a great way to ensure sport remained in my life.



Playing rugby for Brock was the first time I was exposed to young women identifying as members of the LGBTQ+ community. These women were strong, proud, and inspiring, especially as a young 18-year-old, who was still unsure of who I was. They made me feel safe enough to work through my internalized homophobia. It was no more than two weeks later when I came out to my teammates and friends.

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For the first time, I felt like I could breathe. I became surrounded by a community that I had no idea existed. I suddenly had friends across the OUA. Girls on different teams, from different schools in far away cities became my family and I was welcomed with open arms. Something I was petrified of for 18 years became a thing to celebrate.

Not everyone needs a label, but for me, coming out as gay gave me the sense of identity that I was craving for so long. I didn't have to pretend anymore, well at least when I was away from home.



I wish I could say that it was all perfect from there, but I still had to face my biggest fear: telling my family. When you hear the stories of kids being ostracized for simply loving who they love, you begin to imagine the worst-case scenario. For me, I got a few different responses. My brother, the first one I told, celebrated with me. My mom didn't believe me, stating that there was no way this was possible and how I was probably just "trying things out." My dad was incredibly disappointed and asked me to leave his home.

I did not finish my first year on time. I became incredibly depressed, unhopeful for the future and felt as though my world was crumbling around me. Just before exams, I was hospitalized for mental health reasons. I believed I was alone and that no one could understand the turmoil I was facing, which stemmed largely from my struggle with my sexuality.

That was not the case. Despite that fact that it was the busiest season for university students, my teammates came to the hospital every single day. One of my friends slept on the floor of the ER, a few brought me essentials and things to make me more comfortable, several came back every single day to visit, some would even bring their dogs and we'd walk them around the grounds. At my lowest point, I was never alone; I was surrounded by those same girls that had supported me while I was finding myself.

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I learned fairly quickly that the meaning of the phrase love is love goes far deeper than the right to romantically love someone of the same sex. To me, that saying stems from the right to receive unconditional love and support from the people around you regardless of your sexual orientation, gender identity, gender presentation, or preferred pronouns. We are all deserving of love, both in the romantic sense and from our friends and families. No one should be afraid of having to choose between that support and expressing who they truly are.



Throughout my time at Brock, my rugby team has showed me the meaning of unconditional love. I wouldn't be this loud and proud without their encouragement and constant reassurance that who I am is valid. My parents have put in the effort now, doing the work to change their mindset. They are still my biggest supporters on the field and in life.

I ended up finishing my first year the following summer and began my year two just in time for rugby season. I am now 21, going into my final year at Brock and looking forward to one final season. I have a wonderful life with an amazing partner and support system. I am proud to be an athlete at Brock and I am proud to identify as gay.



No matter who you are and how you identify, there is a place for you in sport and there is a place for you in the OUA. You are important and you are valid. I see you, I empathize with you, and I am here for and with you.

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